| << View Previous Topic | View Next Topic >> |
| Author |
Message |
Deano
Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 741
|
| Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 10:57 am Post Subject: Deano's Comedy Corner |
|
|
| Hello, I get sent many joke pictures from people, some real funny classics and I would like to share some of them with you, what with all the doom and gloom in the world aye, k here goes... 8) |
|
| Back to top |
|
Deano
Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 741
|
| Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 12:58 pm Post Subject: |
|
|
 |
|
| Back to top |
|
magical1
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 99
Location: Wellington
|
| Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 5:38 pm Post Subject: |
|
|
awwwww fanks Deano! That made me rarf and rarf!
I feel like that poor fox all the time! hahahahaha
I too get lots of these emails so will look forward to seeing if you have any I haven't already got...
Did you know that buddhist monks have a belly laughing session every morning upon waking (well so I have heard anyway). Good for the health and soul regardless. |
|
| Back to top |
|
smashdracs
Joined: 23 Nov 2005
Posts: 1001
Location: Wellington NZ
|
| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 3:43 pm Post Subject: |
|
|
 |
|
| Back to top |
|
ruapaka
Joined: 09 Feb 2007
Posts: 339
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 2:04 pm Post Subject: |
|
|
What about a funny true story ......
Recent juvenile activity on West Coast, SI ...
A couple of local youths were removing number plates from vehicles. A concerned citizen contacted the local police who went to investigate. While the police car was at the concerned citizen's address, the youths removed the police car number plates. The story continues with a speed camera van number plates being removed. The youths responsible went speeding back and forth past the camera van in another vehicle displaying the camera van plates. Police are still trying to find the offenders.
Smashdracs ... perhaps those cops were looking for number plates ... LOL |
|
| Back to top |
|
steve clougher
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 973
Location: north-east victoria
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:07 pm Post Subject: |
|
|
my son enjoyed that one, ruapaka, and told me this one
this traveller pulls into a little roadhouse halfway from nowhere special to the back of beyond, the sign, on close inspection, names the one-shack town : "MERCY", and boasts a population of two
there's a one-table cafe at the side , and after filling his car from the single ancient petrol pump, he sits down and sees on the menu "Koala tea"
He thinks, "good, must be a quaint local beverage, with a gumleaf or two", and orders a pot of it, but when it comes, there's a couple of furry ears breaking the surface, and a lot of fluff floating about
He panics for a minute and thinks how he can save the situation, then has a flash of inspiration, and asks the owner for another cup, and a strainer
the owner looks offended, draws himself up and looks down his nose and says,
"Didn't you know, the Koala tea of MERCY is not strained" |
|
| Back to top |
|
Deano
Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 741
|
| Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:34 pm Post Subject: ELEPHANT SELF PORTRAITS |
|
|
Heh! Excellent guys, now im gonna go off on a tangent here and post a link to a youtube vid (under 8min) of elephants painting self portraits of themselves (whoa where did that one come from you ask). I found it incredibly uplifting and mesmerising at the same time, the elephants produce stunning pictures. Check it out you wont regret it.
Here it is...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LHoyB81LnE&eurl=http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message527792/pg3 |
|
| Back to top |
|
ruapaka
Joined: 09 Feb 2007
Posts: 339
|
| Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:32 pm Post Subject: |
|
|
Deano ...
That video is simply amazing ... dial-up takes ages but sooooo worth it. :!:
Thanks :D |
|
| Back to top |
|
Deano
Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 741
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:40 pm Post Subject: |
|
|
| Quote: | Deano ...
That video is simply amazing ... dial-up takes ages but sooooo worth it.
Thanks |
No worries buddy, I am on dial up too after telling telecom xtra to shove their crapy broadband some time ago.
Watching how carefull the elephant is with the paintbrush is remarkable. Also when the brush is dipped in paint the elephant knows exactly where to continue painting, drawing the trunk and legs. |
|
| Back to top |
|
steve clougher
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 973
Location: north-east victoria
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 2:17 pm Post Subject: |
|
|
the kingdoms of animals and birds are full of mystery
how many people know how to read bird omens these days?
everyone knows crows bring omens, and ravens are portents
but how many people, these days, even know how to tell a raven from a crow, let alone interpret their meaning?
i will tell you the difference between a raven and a crow........a raven has seven pinion feathers, those long, strong feathers that splay out at the wingtips, and a crow has only six
so it's only a difference of a pinion |
|
| Back to top |
|
John Anderson
Joined: 05 Nov 2003
Posts: 387
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
|
| Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 7:28 pm Post Subject: |
|
|
Live television sketch comedy from the 50's: "Argument to Beethoven's 5th Symphony" This is quite long but is extremely well done - and very funny...
http://www.flixxy.com/beethoven-5th-symphony.htm |
|
| Back to top |
|
solohawke
Joined: 31 Oct 2007
Posts: 454
|
|
| Back to top |
|
ruapaka
Joined: 09 Feb 2007
Posts: 339
|
| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 10:56 am Post Subject: |
|
|
Thanks Solohawke ..... Bill Hicks is brilliant. I was shown some of his stuff a few years ago - side-splitting stuff. :lol: I also recommend !!!
------------
Here's a funny one sent to me recently .....
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on an airplane. The stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" and he smiles.
"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh-t?" |
|
| Back to top |
|
solohawke
Joined: 31 Oct 2007
Posts: 454
|
|
| Back to top |
|
steve clougher
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 973
Location: north-east victoria
|
|
| Back to top |
|
ruapaka
Joined: 09 Feb 2007
Posts: 339
|
| Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 12:56 am Post Subject: |
|
|
I'd like to share this one ...
| Quote: | An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.
So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from south to north, then into Canada and on to the rest of the world.
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'.
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.
The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.
He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.
She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.
"OK, thank you," said the American.
He then travelled all across America, Canada, Europe, England, Japan and Australia. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '$US10,000 per call' sign under it.
The American decided to travel to New Zealand to see if Kiwis had the same phone. He arrived at sunny Nelson and again in the first church he entered there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '40 cents per call'.
The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.
"Father, I've travelled all over the world and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?"
The priest smiled and answered,
"You're in New Zealand now, son - it's a local call." |
8) |
|
| Back to top |
|
Niksta
Joined: 07 Mar 2007
Posts: 306
|
| Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 10:49 am Post Subject: |
|
|
Hehe .. well done ruapaka, very kewl, party because it's clean but mainly because it is so chroo. We are in paradise!!
:D |
|
| Back to top |
|
| |
